I recently received an email from a wife who had finally worn her husband down so that he finally admitted that he "might" have been unfaithful. However, this is all he would say. He would not give her specifics or time frames. But most importantly, he would not give her the name of the woman that he had been cheating with. The wife wanted to know what implications this might have. And, she wanted to know if there was any way she could find out the identity of this other woman on her own. I'll discuss these things in the following article.
Why Husbands Refuse To Tell You Who They Cheated With: Obviously, if he won't give up the name of this person, he clearly has something to hide and he believes he has a valid reason for keeping this from you. Sometimes, they are withholding this because she is someone that you know. I've had readers tell me that this other woman was her best friend, sister, or other beloved person. I've had it be either the husband or wife's boss or coworker. Of course, the husband knows that this is going to blow up big time and that it's in his best interest to keep this to himself at all costs.
\"beloved Person\"
Other times, he knows that you are going to want to get more information and that, once you know the identity of the other woman, you will have no qualms about approaching her to find out the whole story. This is usually the last thing that the husband wants. He wants to be able to control what you know and when you know it. Obviously, it's greatly to his benefit that you never find out who this is.
Sometimes, he is not willing to give her up. He wants to continue seeing the both of you or he wants to pursue his relationship with her more fully. If you know her identity, it will be much easier for you to check up on them and to make his betrayal and his continuing to carry out the affair harder for both of them. If you are in the dark as to who she is, he can likely continue on in the same way.
Finally, I've had rare occasions where the other woman is someone that he's somewhat ashamed of. There may be something wrong with her age, her profession, or her appearance. He might well know that you're going to tell everyone and this will be embarrassing. I've even had instances where people have told me that the "other woman" is actually "the other man." It's not unheard of for married men to be cheating with other men. Sure, it's much more rare than there being another woman, but it happens.
Can You Find Out Who The Other Woman Or Person Is?: Of course you can. How soon this happens depends on which tactics you use. If you want to do this cheaply and by yourself, you can usually grab his cell phone and bring forth even his deleted text messages, IMs, and emails. This will usually give you her phone number, with which you can use reverse look up to find out exactly who she is.
You can usually try this same thing with his computer, among other things. The truth is, in order to cheat with this woman, he has to regular see her, communicate with her, and contact her. These things always leave clues. The key is knowing where to look and in knowing how to bring back things that he thought he's cleverly erased.
What Does it Mean If He Wont Tell You the Name of the Person He Was Having an Affair With?
I was in this same situation and I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to find out the other woman's identity, even though he thought that he had erased and hid this. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read a very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/.