I'm 18, and having just been through high school I know some things about high school girls, and this current generation that many of the people talking to you may or may not know.
First off, let me also say - you're right, girls are not objects, things to "get." But PLEASE, everybody let the terminology GO for a minute here. The only thing I see that has happened is people that have NO experience with real concepts are telling this guy, "just be yourself," and "the girls will come naturally".
\"how To Get A Girlfriend\"
Two items that are often horribly wrong without the right information to back them up, especially with high school aged, young, often immature, girls. Being a pick up artist is NOT about disrespecting women, self gain, or any of that negative stuff many of you are spouting out. I don't mean to sound so defensive, I just want to make my points clear.
Being a pick up artist is actually kind of a sour term to describe the concept as it stands in most places. A PUA is not just a guy who "picks up girls," or anything like that, there's an entire world to maintaining the relationship. Now am I going to say that all PUA's are great guys? Of course not. That would be like saying that all real, creative artists are good artists, that all doctors are good doctors. The whole thing would just sound a bit strange, and suspicious.
The ways to be yourself are by NOT shoving the things that make you YOU out the window. Never, ever give up your identity and who you are. If you must, exaggerate a tiny bit of what you are to get a girl to smile, but don't sit there and fake anything. Deception, lies, and trickery are not the answer. Here are a few points of advice from me:
Tip 1:
Be Happy and Smile A Lot
If you are not happy here is the brutal, cold truth: no girl is going to want to be with you. After all, would you want to be with a girl who was miserable? This is a common relationship concept. Smile! Smile a lot! Smiling is perhaps one of the most attractive things people do socially, because when another sees you smile, they often register that image with the association of their own smile, which in turn will make them feel happy too. Laughing is also contagious, but again - don't laugh at something you don't think is funny. Just be sure to let yourself laugh when it's appropriate.
Tip 2:
Make every word that comes out of your mouth purposeful and meaningful
Everything you say should have a purpose behind it. Do not start saying things just to break a silence purely for the sake of breaking the silence. Do not say something just because you feel she's not paying enough attention to you and you want to chime in. Let things be, and find ways of tactfully speaking up when there is a reason to do so.
In the case of seduction, the patterns and language techniques give you ample opportunity to have a "strategic" conversation. These concepts not only apply to women, they apply to all aspects of your social life, and will even come in very handy for you in the business world.
Tip 3:
Develop a nonverbal communication and sense of rapport before even speaking to her.
Don't just go up the instant you see a girl - take a moment to study her movement. Match her breathing with your own. Take one of her mannerisms and adopt it as your own for a little bit. Play with this process, and see what works. What this does is builds an unconscious sense of commonality, and allows the conversation to flow both more comfortably, and with a higher level of initial attraction. The process is called "matching and mirroring," or sometimes just "mirroring." Give it a shot, but don't mimic - do not copy every tiny thing she does. Do not make it obvious.
Tip 4:
If the girl does not show interest in getting to know new people, you move on instantly.
This is not true at all with adult women, and the websites you will read on seduction do not take this antisocial, or socially retarded behavior into account. But this is something that with high school girls and even young college girls, you may encounter. Sometimes the most gorgeous girls you will ever meet are the ones that have had a close knit circle of friends that they NEVER leave for years - and you're not in it.
If she gives you a look that is irritated or "who are YOU" type expression, just say, "Nice meeting you," and walk away. If you want, you can stay and try to recover, but I'll warn you right now, especially if she is around friends, they'll find a way to push you out quickly. It's a battle you likely can't win.
Most of the "popular" girls in high school are actually a bit socially retarded. And I'm not kidding. You THINK they are "popular" because they're the ones that everyone knows about, but the reasons everyone knows about them may not be their nature. More likely, it's their looks, their actions at some party where they were acting stupid, their cruelty, or the guys they've dated. You can go after them if you like, but it's hit-or-miss.
The girls that I would go after if I were you are the ones that are often very close to by themselves, or totally by themselves at lunch - they will be more open to you than most of the ones that are with their little clique of friends.
While I know your aim is not to be "cool," in the common high school sense of the word, I can tell you something else. Having a girlfriend, in the world of high school (I don't know why, don't ask), DOES increase your level of popularity. And you know what? It doesn't even matter who the girl is, most of the time.
Tip 5:
Don't ever settle for anything less than everything you dream about.
Don't date a girl who has a great personality, but you don't find attractive. And of course, don't go out with a gorgeous girl who you absolutely hate on the inside. Find the WONDERFUL girls and spend as much time pursuing them as you please. Maybe they're the ones with a great reputation, maybe they're not. But if you date a girl who is wonderful in your view, she's likely to be wonderful in the view of others and the view of your friends. Be the first to be with her, and be the first to talk to her.
When you are already in a relationship, do not compromise.
When you're in a relationship, do not make her change anything, and do not let her make YOU change anything you don't want to about yourself. If she doesn't like the clothes you wear, but YOU do, don't let her take you to the mall and give you a make over.
Girlfriend Guide - How To Get A Girlfriend in High School
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