It's one of the most often asked questions when trying to get an ex back: how do I contact my ex girlfriend? Most guys make such communication way too early, which only serves to drive their ex away. Knowing how and when to make that first connection is one of the most mistimed events on the path to getting back together. It can also be the most damaging, if you don't know how to correctly handle it.
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When your ex first ends things between you, she wants to be left alone for a while. This is the worst time to call or talk to her. It's also the time during which you're going to be tempted the most. That combination leads to an incredible amount of men making conversation with women who really would rather not be talking to them at all. Contacting your ex girlfriend while the break up is still fresh may be important to you, because you feel like you can still talk her out of leaving you. In truth though, you're just shooting yourself in the foot. Your ex will get annoyed that you're hounding her immediately after the break up, and be angry that you're trying to change her mind.
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The leads men to ask the next question: should I write my ex a letter? Again, the answer is a resounding no. Although there's nothing wrong with putting your thoughts down on paper, actually sending it to your exgirlfriend will only lead to problems. You must understand that you're writing this stuff down for you... not her. You're doing it to make yourself feel better, and in the process you believe it's going to make her want you back. In reality, sending such a letter will only come off as desperate. Even if you think it's a good one, filled with all good things, apologies, etc... your ex doesn't want that right now. She's just broken up with you, so any contact you have with her will make her feel weird for a little while. It's always best to leave her alone, at least for a few weeks.
How Should I Contact My Ex Girlfriend?
Obviously this isn't what you want to hear. But I'll tell you this: if you're serious about getting your ex back, you'll need to understand and meet her own needs - not yours. This means abandoning how you feel, or how you're doing, or what you're emotionally going through. Instead, try to step outside of the situation and examine the scenario from her point of view. Doing this might surprise you.
By dropping out of your girlfriend's sight and making yourself scarce for a while, your ex will actually start to miss you. She'll respect you for not having chased her, even though secretly she may have wanted you to. She'll think about the break up a lot more if you haven't called, emailed, or text-messaged your ex. And if she hasn't talked to you in a while? She's going to wonder exactly what you're up to. Her curiosity will get the best of her, and she'll send out feelers to learn what you've been doing. Have you moved on? Are you dating someone else? Why haven't you called even once? These things will go through her mind, causing you to get back into her head again.
Eventually the question comes back full circle: How should I contact my ex girlfriend? - and this time, the answer gets easier. Because now that you've left her alone to her own thoughts, you can communicate with your ex girlfriend... and this time around, you can do it with your dignity intact.
What should you say to your ex? Something simple. Start by saying hello, and ask her how she's been. If you were dating for a while, you were probably close with her family. Ask about mom, dad, grandma, and whoever else. Ask her about school and work. Don't pry, and above all, don't interrogate. Whether she contacted you or you called your ex first, don't even stay on the phone very long. You want to touch base, make sure she knows it was nice to hear from her again, and then make a fast excuse to get off the line. Tell her you're going out, and be vague about it. Then, just before you hang up, ask her if she wants to talk again soon - or maybe meet up for lunch or coffee.
This sort of a little mini reunion date can really help solidify the possibility of getting back together again. Because you waited a while before making such an offer, your ex doesn't feel pressured by you. You don't look the least bit desperate, either. She'll actually be excited to meet with you, because she'll still be wondering what you've been doing all this time. Your phone call was way too short for her, and you left her wanting more - a good tactic whenever dealing with someone you're trying to date again.
Learning when and how you should contact your ex girlfriend is a critical part of reconciliation, which is why you should leave nothing to chance. If you're trying to get your ex back, you'll need to be proactive in everything you do while avoiding the big mistakes most guys make while fixing a break up. By learning all you can, you'll minimize the possibility of failure and maximize your chances of putting her into your arms again.
How Should I Contact My Ex Girlfriend?
There are some very unique methods you can use to Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend, so learn what they are! And for more ideas on how to reconnect, check out Contacting Your Ex.